Happy Thanksgiving!

This year was a first for my family, with Thanksgiving being hosted by Brian and Debbie as opposed to at my mom's house as it has always been. Definitely a sign that times are changing, as it also included Debbie's grandparents who live in New Jersey, and was our first holiday with mixed families. Unfortunately Jimmy and Heather weren't able to join us because of work schedules and such, but hopefully we will all be able to get some time together at Christmas when Dad is around.

Mom, my Aunt Diane and I all headed to Brian and Debbie's on Wednesday night and spent the evening chatting and catching up. On Thursday morning after getting the turkey in the oven, Mom Debbie and I did Tae Bo together. It was hysterical, and I probably burned more calories laughing at us than I did actually doing the workout! But it was great! Right about the time we were finishing up Debbie's grandparents arrived. Dinner was wonderful, with lots of good food and great conversation. I asked the "question of the day" which is a game I play with my kids at dinner time (to help them eat more slowly and practice making casual conversation and use their manners). My questions was "what are you most thankful for", and spurned lots of different answers and great conversation. I said that I was most thankful for the knowledge that I can be whoever and whatever I want to be, and the only thing that stands in my way is believing that to be true and trusting my decisions. Don't think I would have said that a year ago, so it feels good.

I had to leave shortly after dinner because I had to work early Friday morning, so I missed all of the shopping madness on Black Friday.... which I'm not disappointed about!! Haha!

I've decided that i'm going to do a triathlon in June. Feel like I've hit a stand still with my weight loss and fitness level, so I kinda need something big to work towards and accomplish. And definitely something that I couldn't have done at 265 pounds 3 years ago. I asked Brian and Debbie if they would be interested in doing it with me. They didn't jump at the idea, but I'm going to keep working on them and will get them on board. Of course we acted like fools bouncing around the kitchen before I left on Thursday talking about the whole thing!!

Here's our preview, Debbie running, me on the bike, and Brian swimming. Yeah, we're huge dorks.

Philly Weekend

This week I switched my schedule around so that I was off on Friday and Saturday to spend the weekend with my sister in law in Philadelphia. One of her good friends is a huge Ani Difranco fan, and wanted to go to her concert at the Electric Factory on Friday night, so Deb invited me along. We decided to make a weekend of it and spend the night and next day in the city, since I had never been there and was thinking about looking for jobs in that area sometime in the near future.

As we were making our plans I remembered that an old friend of mine lives just outside Philly, so I decided to invite her along as well. Bridget and I lived in Bangladesh and were classmates and good friends during 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. We reconnected through Facebook last year, but hadn't actually seen each other since her family left Dhaka at the end of 6th grade.

So on Friday I headed up to Lancaster, PA to Brian and Debbie's house, got to visit with Brian for a little bit, and then Debbie and I picked up Heather and headed to the city. We got to our hotel, which was in the historic area, just a block away from the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. Bridget met us at the hotel, and then we walked a few blocks to this fantastic Italian restaurant where we had dinner, then grabbed a cab to the Electric Factory for the concert.

I always love live music, and though I wouldn't call myself a huge Ani fan, I definitely enjoy and connect with her music. And her live show was fantastic! We weren't allowed to bring cameras inside, so I didn't get any pictures during the show, but Heather had one taken of the 4 of us before we went in, so I will post that when I get it from her. After the show we walked back towards our hotel, and stopped at a little cuban club for mojitos and watched some dancing before calling it a night.

On Saturday we wandered around the city for awhile, saw some different areas and did some exploring. All in all it was a great trip, I had a fantastic time. But I don't think I want to live there. It's hard to describe, but every time I have moved or started something new in someplace new I have always had a very strong gut feeling that it was right. And I just didn't get that feeling there. I couldn't picture myself being there in the day to day. Not quite sure what that means in terms of what my next steps are, but trying to just take it one day at a time at this point.

A piece of sculpture on the bridge at the end of South Street.


Bridget and I while exploring some of the historic neighborhoods near South Street.

Independence Hall. Which is actually kinda small.

The Bell.

Love my sister!

Eighteen years later.

Sassy Redhead Anyone?

After my usual couple of months of thinking and talking about it, I got a little impulsive yesterday afternoon and decided I needed a change. So here it is!




I was intending on getting it chopped, and was thinking about getting highlights. Without much arm twisting I was talked into doing full color. It's VERY red, and VERY short! But I think I love it!

Last week while Lisa was in DC with her students I took the evening and drove down to catch up with her for a couple hours. our visit was too short, but fantastic! The definite downside of moving back East to be near my family is that it makes visits with my Hunnies much more difficult!

I had a little trouble centering us to take this picture with my phone, but we're still pretty damn hot!!

mobile!!!

This is my first post from my blackberry!!! I know, I know, now I have absolutely no excuse for not keeping up with blogs. I also get my email on my phone, so I am all kinds of connected!

I will fully admit that I am a huge dork for being soooooo excited about this!

Hurts So Good

For years I have watched The Biggest Loser, and even at one point considered trying out for the show. Sadly I missed the Columbus auditions by a day almost 3 years ago, and then just decided I would take the journey myself. I consider myself to be fairly successful with it, having lost almost 90 pounds at one point. Admittedly, when life got difficult over the past year I gained back about 20 pounds, which I am now finding more difficult to get rid of. Despite those pesky pounds hanging on, I consider myself to be in pretty good shape. I work out 4-6 days a week, and even without structured workouts I'm always moving or doing something.

I've always been a huge fan of Jillian Michaels, the feisty female trainer on the Biggest Loser. Sometimes I can't decide if I want her to train me or I just want to be friends with her. Anyway, the other day I bought one of her workout videos which targets the "trouble spots" of thighs, butt, belly, and arms. I was so excited to do the workout on Wednesday evening, but by the end of it thought that death was a real possibility.

I was pretty sore yesterday, mostly my hamstrings (back of my thighs), butt, and abs. Every time I laughed I thought I might fall over, which is very dangerous because I laugh A LOT! Then I woke up this morning. And I can hardly straighten my legs. All I know is THANK GOD I don't have to go up or down stairs at work!!!

The really sick part is that I can't wait to stretch and recover for another day so I can do the workout again.

Connected!!

Finally got a new wireless router and got it all hooked up and working, so I am once again back amongst the civilized with internet on my own computer! Up until this point the only internet in the house has been on my mom's desk top, which happens to be in her bedroom and somewhat inconvenient given the completely opposite schedules that we keep. But now with the wireless network I have access with my laptop anywhere in the house. It's a beautiful thing.

There's lots to catch up on, so I guess I'll just give you a little random list:

* Work continues to go well and makes me happy 95% of the time, which is a definite improvement over the situation I was in just a few months ago. Of course there are always ups and downs and minor irritations, but overall I am content with where I'm at for the time being, and feel fulfilled and rewarded with the job I'm doing. It helps to be back in a familiar setting with people who I have known for a long time.

* Mom and I are babysitting for Isa, my brother and sister-in-law's 2 year old pit bull. Brian and Deb spent a week in Portugal visiting Deb's parents (they have lived in Portugal for years, doing missionary work) and are now in Italy for the wedding of one of Deb's coworkers (who was also her roommate for awhile and one of her bridesmaids.) It has been an adventure, to say the least! She still has a lot of puppy in her, and needs a lot of attention and exercise every day. So we've been playing in the backyard a lot, and going for walks every day. I got a little brave the other day and took her out for a run... or maybe she took me, haha!

* I still have not unpacked half of my stuff. Actually, half of my stuff is being stored at my parents cabin. The other half is here in the house, spread out between the basement, garage, and foyer. And most of it's not unpacked. But I'm working on it, slowly. It's kinda funny to realize how much stuff I have that I really don't NEED. I'm considering not unpacking much more, if I don't really need it and will just be packing it back up again before too long.

* Speaking of packing up again, I've been giving that a lot of thought lately. Initially when I moved back here the plan was to be here through the first of the year, and then be on my way to Philly. Time seems to be flying pretty quickly, and I'm still getting some things taken care of and back in order. So now I'm kind of thinking I may sit still where I'm at until next summer. That will give me more flexibility with the job search, and not create the pressure to just take whatever I can get to be on my way. It's also helpful with student loan payments to be staying with Mom at this point, so I might as well take advantage of that while I can and make a major dent in my loans.

* I joined the hand bell choir at church with my mom. Initially I did it because she asked me to, but it turns out that I love it! I miss making music, and lot having it however I can get it.

* I miss you all terribly!!

Wait a Minute Mr. Postman!!

Yesterday when I came home I had the greatest surprise waiting for me on the porch. A package. Rarely do I get a package that I'm not expecting, so this was even more exciting because I had no clue what was inside. Immediately I checked the return address and saw that it was from Viki, and my excitement and curiosity both shot through the roof.

Inside the package I found a card telling a cute little story referencing my known love of pancakes, which led to the contents of the box. A bottle of Canadian syrup. I laughed hysterically, and found myself actually tearing up a little bit at the whole situation. To clarify a little, back in my "fat girl" days, I typically ate pancakes about once a week, and would definitely put them close to the top of my "favorite foods of all time" list. In the past couple of years I have made a lot of lifestyle changes, and pancakes are now a special treat that only happens when I have guests, or when I go visiting (usually at Karen's house!).

This whole story is the perfect manifestation of what I love about our friendships that have now spanned over a decade. There are things that happen throughout daily life that provide reminders of people who have been meaningful in my life, and I often find myself thinking of them (and sometimes giggling or full out belly laughing). For whatever reason I sometimes assume that I'm the only one who thinks that way, so it was great to get Viki's package and know that something that happened in her life reminded her of me. It makes me happy. Love you all!!!

The Ride of a Lifetime

While there were many points of our Alaska trip that were amazing and breathtaking, Ben and I both agreed on the highlight of our trip. It was the minute and a half long ride down the world's longest zipline in Hoonah, Alaska. To get to the launch site we took a 45 minute bus ride, which ended up being a really great guided tour of the island and it's history. Finally, we arrived at the top, and were strapped into what looked like a hollowed out backpack for our ride down to the beach. Now I have done many ziplines in the past, but this was an experience like no other. First of all, the seat was so comfortable, not like the typical rappelling harnesses which feel like they are squeezing all of your insides out through your pelvis. While getting strapped in you place your feet on a swinging metal door in front of you, and once everyone is ready the door swings open and you are on your way (which is great for those who may be nervous or hesitant, because you don't have to make the decision to jump).

The morning of our ride was a bit foggy, so when we took off we were actually in the cloud cover, and spent the first ten seconds or so zipping through the clouds. Right about the time that we hit 60mph we cleared the cloud cover and could see the tip of the island and the surrounding bay, complete with our ship! It was a bit scary as we approached the beach, but there were mechanisms on the lines which slowed us down and caught us. Ben flew a little farther than I did, and said he thought he was going to fly right off the end of the line and into the water, but I think he was just being dramatic!

It doesn't nearly do it justice, as you have to imagine the wind in your face and flying so fast that your eyes water, but Ben was able to capture the whole ride on video. The screaming is him, and he claims it was because he was having such a good time, not at all because he was scared. =)

And of course Blogger isn't letting me upload the video. I will try again later!!

Long Overdue!

I know I have been horrible about posting, and about getting pictures from Alaska up. In my defense it's been difficult because we haven't been able to get wireless internet set up at my mom's house, and her computer is in her bedroom which makes it difficult to get on there very often.

Anyway, right now I am laying on the living room floor in my *almost* empty apartment in Cleveland. When I left here in June I only took clothes and other necessities with me, and mom and I came out this weekend to get the rest of my stuff since our lease is up next week. It's very strange to be back, but not necessarily in a bad way. Just strange.

We've got all the furniture and most of the boxes in the truck, with just a few odds and ends still needing to get boxed and loaded up. So I'm enjoying a little internet time!!!

I will have to put together a more complete Alaska report, but for the time being here is a little taste.

Ben's parents and me standing on one of the upper decks as we shipped out from Seward.

The coastline as we were cruising toward the Hubbard Glacier


Cruising the Hubbard Glacier. The picture doesn't even come close to doing it justice, it was amazing.

On the dock in Juneau

Reid Falls, about a mile and a half outside of Skagway.

On the hike back to Skagway.

Preparing for the ride of our lifetime.

Home

I am home. Spent most of yesterday trying to get unpacked and settled, and readjust myself to having a room as opposed to an apartment. It's a bit of an adjustment! It also makes me very aware of how much junk I have gathered over the years, and thinking maybe it's time to just get rid of it!

My birthday was fantastic!! I spent the majority of the day cleaning and packing in preparation to leave the next day, then went out to dinner with my friend Sarah from grad school. Those of you who came to my graduation probably remember her from the party. She is a fantastic girl, and I enjoy her friendship very much and will certainly miss being close to her. We ate at Melt, which is a local restaurant and bar in Lakewood (West side of Cleveland) where the specialize in gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. It sounds a bit odd, but it was fabulous. After dinner we headed back over to the East side of town and met up with a bunch of my coworkers and friends at one of our favorite bars. Sadly Ben got stuck at work and didn't arrive until just after last call, but at least he took me home! I have some pictures from the evening that I will post once I unearth my camera from wherever it got shoved in the moving process.

Thursday I loaded up the truck (which was an adventure to say the least) and headed down to Cinci. I had a great time hanging out with Nicole, who is my newest BFF, and of course Karen and Jim! Friday was a long lunch with an old friend, and then a wonderful dinner with the girls. Great food, great company, great conversation. Can't ask for much more! Oh wait, 4 desserts. Haha! Time and time again I am reminded how blessed I am to have these amazing women in my life, and despite the time and circumstances that keep us apart, it's always like coming home. Cause it's not just anyone you can have dinner conversation with that includes a heated discussion about pregnant women having sex and how much money one would fish out of the toilet.

Today I am off to the ARC to get my finger printing and paperwork taken care of. I'm also going to be meeting with Robby, who is the Music Director at my mom's church to find out what kind of stuff he has in mind for me to help out with over the summer. Hope everyone has a great day!

Counting Down

It's always interesting to me that even though I seek out and embrace change, it still makes me very emotional. Thinking back to the end of undergrad and moving back to the East coast, deciding to come out to Akron to go to grad school, and now this move. All were good moves for me, and I wouldn't change any of them. But they make me sad. Saying goodbye is difficult.

Thinking about this topic makes me question my motivation for change. Is it because I want new and different challenges? Did I move so many times as a child that it seems normal to me to only be in one place for a few years? When I start to get comfortable in a place, does it make me so uncomfortable that I need it to change?

I know that I tend to over think and over analyze EVERYTHING, but this topic seems to need some examination. I know that I have never been any place where I felt like "hmm, I'm home." I've never pictured myself in the same place 10 years from now, or really even 5 years from now. So with all that said, why am I being a total bitch to my closest friends, and feel like I am about to cry at the drop of a hat?

I'm outta here!!!

I'm about to head out the door to spend some time with my cousin Shannon in Syracuse before she moves to Arizona next week. I'm sad that I haven't been able to spend more time with her and her kids over the past year (I think I've only seen them 2 or 3 times this year). At the same time I know this is a really good move for her and her family, and I'm really excited for her. She and Gregg also just had another baby last month, so I'm excited to meet her!

In other exciting news, two weeks from today is my last day at work. Once I made the decision to leave everything has happened really fast, but I'm excited. I'm going to be staying with my mom for awhile, and will be going back to the program I worked for before grad school. Since my schedule will be 4 days on and 3 days off I am also going to be working with the summer program at St. Joseph's school (attached to the church my mom works at) and doing some private lessons. With everything that has happened over the past year I know that this is what I need right now and I'm really excited about it. Sad to be leaving some great people here, but excited. I don't start my new job until June 22, so I will try to get down to Southern Ohio before I head East.

Gotta hit the road, hope everyone has a great holiday weekend!!!!

Quick Update

Thanks for all the support and encouraging comments, it really helps to have great friends!!

I talked to the leasing office yesterday, and even if we vacate the apartment we are responsible for paying out the lease. As that is the case, Ben will stay here, and I will pay out my portion of the rent. It sucks, but at this point I gotta do what I gotta do!

I also spoke to my old boss in Maryland. There are still some details to work out, but it's looking like I will be submitting my resignation this week. Because I'm management I have to give 4 weeks notice, so that will put me into the first week of June, which I can live with. Then I will head out and stay with Mom for a bit. I think it's time for me to take a few steps back and regain some focus and clarity. I will continue to keep you posted on what's going on.

Love you all!!!

Life is a Highway

Greetings from the Land of Cleve!!!

I am trying to force myself to be better about keeping in touch with people, including posting here. It's tough because I don't have much positive to say, and I don't want to get caught up in constantly complaining about how awful things are. But I will be honest, things suck.

I'm about to leave my apt to go to the leasing office and find out how I can possibly break my lease, so that I can quit my job and get out of here. My lease is up August 31, but I can't wait that long.

Unfortunately I really can't talk about what's going on and why I am so eager to leave. But it's pretty major. And I want out. Hopefully the time will come when I can explain more, but for the moment please just say a little prayer for me that I can get out of my lease and hit the road.